I AM IRELAND - The Relaunch

I AM IRELAND is a project that is close to my heart because it asks something I'm constantly struggling with - What makes us Irish? I struggle with my connection to this country. Am I Irish? What makes me Irish? Is it just the fact that I was born here? Why do I get angry when I see what successive governments have done to this place? Why do I feel let down, betrayed? What do I feel when I think of our culture, literature, art, and am I part of that? What gives me pride? Hope?

As I plan to immigrate later this year these questions, and many more, run through my mind. So I wonder if the same questions, thoughts, are going through the minds others, both here and abroad. When Irish people think of home, what goes through their head?

I launched this project a couple of months ago. But did not have a huge response if I'm honest. And then my life went crazy, my wife got sick, our son was born prematurely, all while I was in the middle of making a film... so I couldn't give it the time it deserved. But I haven't given up on it. I would still like to find out what's going on in the hearts and minds of the people of this country, in a simple, straight forward way.

Of course, I made it way too complicated by asking people to shoot on HD, expertly filmed with expert sound. I see now that was a mistake. Especially as I'm planning to put the film online as soon as it's complete. And it defies what this project should be about, People, from all walks of life, everyday People. And the everyday people of Ireland aren't all filmmakers with access to this kind of equipment.

This should be a shared experience, available to everyone and accessible by anyone.

So in this relaunch I am asking you to answer the same five questions, but film it how you want, where you want, with whatever device you have available. Shoot it on you iPhone, DSLR, whatever you have. I would ask one thing, that you try and email it to me, I'll share a dropbox if needed. Just because I may be changing address soon and it's much easier for me to work that way. If you have trouble with that though, let me know.

So get on your phone, your camera, your computer, rant, rave, scream, shout, let it out, speak in hate, speak of hope, tell me your dreams, talk from your heart about your disappointment and let the confusion that describes you relationship with this country of ours spill out. Give it socks lads!

The 5 Questions:

1. Describe where you grew up?

2. What is your saddest memory?

3. What is your happiest memory?

4. What does family mean to you?

5. What does Ireland mean to you?

Answer these today. Send me the footage.

I've scrapped the deadline too. Get it to me when you can. When I feel I have enough, I'll call a halt to it. But I'll probably just let it run through the Summer, but we'll see how it goes.

Let's talk about what makes us... well, us. Go to it. Shoot yourself in the head... with a camera. And send me what spills out!

I Am Ireland, are you?

Ablevision Film Complete

Joe & Sarah

The Ablevision film 'Joe & Sarah' is complete. I finished the edit this week. Then a sound mix, music and grade. I'll go back in for some tweaks before the premiere, I got the final music mix after I was finished, which I do want to put in, because it's good! Dermot O'Mahony pulling it of the bag again! But it's as close to finished as you can get. I'd be happy enough to sign off on it now, but while I have the time I figure I can make it that tiny bit better.

A challenging, interesting, enlightening and highly enjoyable experience. One which I would definitely repeat and recommend any other filmmaker to do the same if the opportunity came their way. In fact, if you are interested in getting involved and offering your services to Ablevision, you should drop them a line via the website: http://ablevisionireland.com/ great group of people and a great opportunity to do something different.

The premiere of the film is part of their own film festival, the Ablevision Film Festival, taking place on May 17th in the Droichead Arts Centre in Drogheda. It's an all day event, a mini-fest of sorts, with workshops in the morning, screenings in the afternoon and an award ceremony to finish. Tickets are only €2 and you can book here.

One of the talks will be by yours truly. I've entitled the talk 'From Script to Screen Without a Bean: Secrets of no and low budget filmmaking' and I'll talk for an hour or so on how to get a film up and running when it seems impossible. It will be aimed at first-time, independent, student and amateur filmmakers. Come along if you're able.

Some Images:

Daddy's none too pleased!

Has Joe made the right decision?

A helpful stranger.

Out in the cold.

Rent or Buy Derelict.

Exciting news - Derelict is now available to Rent or Buy from Distrify.

Derelict Online Tonight Only.

You are invited to the Online Premiere of my film Derelict tonight at 9pm GMT on Vimeo. Right here: https://vimeo.com/51991449 I will open the link just before 9PM. I will also be live tweeting a commentary on twitter @frankwkelly and will be taking questions and responding to comments. Please come watch, and join in the conversation.

Derelict is a dark crime thriller about a group of men who kidnap a bank manager and his family and hold them hostage in a Derelict building while robbing a bank. It should be a simple job, but as the night wears on things become very complicated.

Current Bun

This is the poster for 'Joe & Sarah', the film I made for Ablevision Ireland. We have a day of pick-ups to do next week and then the edit begins. This one was a pleasure to be a part of. Premiering in Drogheda at the Ablevision Film Festival on the 17th of March.

Putting this one out there. Asking people to put their thoughts to camera and answer five open questions that should give a real sense of the mood in Ireland at the moment. So far six people have joined. Thinking about do a local thing too, so rather than have people have to tape themselves, I'll do that part.

This is a side project I have going. Currently working on the proposal, so I'll be able to talk in detail about it when it's done. But it's a simple project to promote local filmmakers doing local things. 

Amy Berg Interview

I did this interview with Academy Award Nominated documentary filmmaker Amy Berg, about her latest film, West of Memphis, late last year for a magazine. Unfortunately the magazine never published it, which I thought was a shame, but I'm sure they had their reasons. Still, I thought it would be a waste to just let it sit on my hard drive gathering pixie dust! So, here it is:

Amy Berg

West of Memphis

Interview by Frank Kelly

12/28/12

Director Amy Berg

I first met Amy Berg at the Dublin International Film Festival in 2007 for the Irish premiere of her Oscar-nominated debut feature documentary ‘Deliver Us From Evil’. It was a significant screening, as the film focused on Irish priest Father Oliver O’Grady, who had admitted to raping 25 children in California between 1970 and 1990, a subject that cut close to the bone in Ireland.

Around the same time, filmmakers Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh became involved with a campaign to free three men; Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin and Jessie Misskelley, known as the West Memphis 3.  Jackson and Walsh believed, like many others, that these men had been wrongly imprisoned for the rape and murder of three 8 year-old boys.  Echols, the so-called leader, was sentenced to death. The campaign to free them became a global phenomenon that involved thousands of people.

Jackson and Walsh began bank rolling an investigation in an effort to bring new evidence and testimony to light, and tackle what Jackson himself called “Institutional Bullying.”  It was when new DNA evidence discovered at the scene of the crime was refused as a reason to reopen the case, that Jackson and Walsh decided to make a film and bring this injustice to greater public awareness.

Being no stranger to controversy, and with a background as an investigative journalist, Berg was first choice for Jackson and Walsh to direct the film.  Stepping into the center of this infamous case, which had attracted the attention of Henry Rollins, Johnny Depp, Eddie Vedder and many more, Berg did not quite know the scale of the project she was taking on.  But it was her distain for bullying and injustice that fueled an insatiable desire to find the truth.

Berg spoke to me on the phone from a New York hotel room just before she was about to record the commentary for the West of Memphis DVD release.  She explained that the journey of this film had been a long one.

Frank Kelly: You’ve had a busy year.

Amy Berg: Yes, it was full on to get the film ready for Sundance and it’s been full on since Sundance, so it’s been a pretty intense year.  Plus we opened on Christmas Day. So there’s been a lot of travel too.

FK: Last time I spoke to you was in Dublin five years ago at the Irish Premiere of Deliver Us From Evil.  Were you on the road much with that film?

AB: Deliver Us From Evil happened quicker. It went to the LA Film Festival and then to Toronto and then it was released, where as with West of Memphis there was a lot of waiting in between things.

FK: Were you on this project the entire time? Were there gaps while you were waiting for the case to progress?

 

AB: Not as much as it may seem. We were always following certain leads and if they led down the wrong path we would just go back to the start.  We had several leads going at the same time.  It was a really intense three years of investigation with so many moving parts and we had to make sure we crossed all the t’s and dotted all the i’s

FK: Were you prepared to follow the case until the end?

AB: I don’t know that you know what you’re getting into. I knew that I was taking on something massive. I also knew that I didn’t know everything that was going on under the surface. But I was very curious and just wanted to keep figuring it out.

FK:  I suppose your challenge then was to translate the shock and awe you were experiencing while making the film to the audience as they watch it?

AB: Yes, the film is a good measure of all the shock and awe we experienced.  Every time you see something you can’t imagine it getting worse and then it does because it’s all about lies.  People are not coming clean about what they know or mistakes they’ve made and those things just mounting up. And you want to believe that the justice system will work in a fair and balanced way so that something like this couldn’t happen but the more truth that came out, the less willing the officials were to admit culpability.

FK: It felt like the officials didn’t want to be embarrassed by admitting they made the wrong decision.

AB: I don’t think they were embarrassed. I just don’t think they cared. They regarded these three guys as just poor white trash and didn’t care about going back. I don’t think it crossed their minds.

FK: You would think the accused would be angry after going through what they did, but when you see Damien Echols in the film he appears to be very relaxed, calm and at peace with himself.  Was that something that surprised you when you met him?

AB: He surprised me on every level.  He has done so much work on himself and on protecting himself against the things that would generally take a person down.  So I was surprised that he was able to exist in such a positive mind-space knowing everything he’d been through.  It says a lot about him.

FK: You approach your films from a very personal standpoint – it has to mean something to you for you to take it on.  I know you didn’t know much about the case before Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh approached you, so how then did you attach yourself to the project? What was the moment that made you want to make the film?

AB: Peter says it in the film, he hates bullying and this is about institutional bullying. The most interesting thing to me is the systemic abuse.  I think there are similar themes in Deliver Us From Evil, where something is fundamentally wrong but kept being allowed to happen.

Producer Peter Jackson and Director Amy Berg

FK: All of Peter Jackson’s movies seem to have a similar theme – the characters go on a similar journey, in that they are trying to escape the darkness and find their way back to the light.  Your films have similar themes – the people you follow are trying to find their way out of very dark situations.  Do you think that’s something you both have in common as filmmakers?

AB: Not until you say it like that, but it makes a lot of sense.  It is a really important thing for me, it’s more about the gray area, so yes, I guess that is trying to find the light in the dark.  It’s about the journey from hiding to coming out.  And it’s not just the three guys, everyone in the story is on a similar journey, the victims’ parents and the people who gave false testimonies and are experiencing this shame for being a part of something that was so dishonest.

FK: You don’t appear in your films, though your presence as director is definitely felt.  Stylistically your films are very similar.  Is that something that comes from your past as a news journalist?

AB: Yes, I don’t want to be in my films, I’m never going to do that.  It’s a challenge, I think it’s more difficult to do in terms of the edit and the storytelling, but that’s the way it works for me.  A friend of mine came out of the film and said to me that she felt like she was in very safe hands, as if I was guiding her through the story without having to be in the film, which was one of the biggest compliments I could have received because you put so much into the interviews, the process, the journey for all the people involved, but I think that it is their story and I’m just helping them to tell it.

FK: Do you spend a lot of time with them before putting them on camera?

AB: Yes, I do that a lot.  First of all, in this day and age with what reality TV has done to documentaries, you want to know that people are telling you the truth.  I also feel that after you build a level of comfort with someone over time the camera becomes invisible.

FK: Are the ever moments when you want to turn the camera off?  I remember one scene in Deliver Us From Evil when the father of one of the victims has a breakdown on camera, and it’s an intense, personal experience we, the audience, are witnessing, you almost feel like you shouldn’t be watching.

AB: For me personally it is difficult when the camera is rolling in that kind of situation.  But you really just have to remember that you’re doing this for the overall thread of the story.  If he had expressed he was uncomfortable with keeping that in the film it would have been difficult for me to put it in.  But there are these moments where these people are breaking out and you can’t stop rolling because that’s part of the process and part of their experience.

FK: I think that moment encapsulates the entire emotion of that film.  It really says in that single moment “This is what has been done to these people.”

AB: And the truth is, that moment happened every time I went to his place.  That was who he was.

FK: There was a similar moment in West of Memphis, when you show the footage of the discovery of the bodies, it’s one of the most unsettled and shocking moments in the film.  Was that a difficult decision to include those images in the film?

AB: Yes, it was.  But there was no question about it.  The reason why is that every single person that was called to testify on the stand saw all the same images.  Every person on the jury were given those photos, and there were much more graphic and disturbing images than were in the film, showing the postmortem effect of the animal activity that took place.  So I felt that it was important that we were seeing what the West Memphis 3 were being judged on.  Because every time you asked someone about something scientific that should counter balance what their decision was, they referred to those photos, “I saw those photos! What those boys did! I can’t get that image out of my mind.”

FK: It is a stark reminder of what it’s all about and how the jury was swayed away from the evidence, such as it was.

AB: Yes.

FK: We are almost out of time, so I wanted to ask about your next project.

AB: I’m actually shooting my first narrative.  We begin pre-production in January. It’s an adaptation of the book Every Secret Thing by Laura Lippman with Frances McDormand and Anthony Brigman producing.

FK: Was narrative filmmaking something you always wanted to try?

AB: I wanted to try something new and this is a story that’s very important.  After three long experiences with my documentary films I wanted to work on something with more of a contained schedule, and on a project that I feel passionate about.

FK: I suppose with filmmaking, documentary or fiction, you’re always in search of the truth.

AB: Right.

FK: One of your DPs on West of Memphis was Maryse Alberti, who is know for her documentary work but has also work on The Wrestler and Happiness, which have a very documentary style to them.  Will you bring a documentary style to your fiction work?

AB: Yes.  Totally.  We’re shooting with a very free style, but I think we can still find a cinematic look, but yes, a very documentary style.

FK: I’m very much looking forward to seeing your first narrative work and congratulations on the success of West of Memphis.

AB: Thank you.

Amy Berg

Interview by Frank Kelly

12/28/12

West of Memphis is on limited release at selected theatres in Los Angeles and New York.

Get Out Of Your Box.

Here's an idea for you filmmakers looking to try something a little different.

Drop into a local community group; youth, disability, elderly, whatever it may be, talk to the person in charge and offer to make a film with the group over the next couple of months. Could be a short, could be a feature if you're ambitious and smart enough. If they're up for it, sit in with them once a week for a couple of hours, over two or three weeks. Get to know them. Talk about their interests, what's going on in their lives, what they like, don't like, what thrills them, angers them. Build a list of themes. Soon, a story will start to emerge. You'll recognise it when you see it, because you're the storyteller.

Your instinct might be to then just go off and write it, but resist it, instead remember that this should be their story, their film, you're just their to guide them. But like any good guide, you're not going to send them down a path that sees them walk off the edge of a cliff. But allow them to talk it out. Find what they want to tell. Make suggestions, pick up on the stronger themes. Guide them.

When there's a story there that everyone likes, that everyone seems excited by, then you can go off an put it into script form. At that point, you're just adding the structure, you're lending you technical ability and experience to their story so you have a structured screenplay to work from.

Set a date to film. Start moving toward it. Find out who wants to be in it. Who wants to be behind the came. Audition for the main parts. Let them get a taste of how every aspect of putting a film together works. Draft in some experienced actors, either people you know, or people from local Drama groups. Draft experienced crew. This will speed things up and give you a film that actually looks like a film. It be a huge learning opportunity for the group o see professionals at work.

Shoot it.

On the shoot, take your time. Set as easy and flexible a schedule as possible. Understand that these people are doing something they have no knowledge of. And again, you're their guide, so don't go wondering off ahead just because you know the path! Take it slow. Explain things. Suggest things. Listen to their suggestions. You'll be the director, but your job as director here is to stand back as much as possible. Set the scene, allow them to play it out. Trust them.

When it's shot. Have a wrap party. Go edit it. Keep it tight. Get it done. Grade it. Get some nice music. Hold a premiere on a big screen in the centre of their town. Get them to bring family and friends. Get it in the paper. See what happens.

Whatever happens, you will have a film at the end of it, a fulfilling experience you never would have had otherwise and you will most certainly have enjoyed yourself.

Just a thought. For a little something outside the box.

Tempting Fate, Making Plans and Losing Control

Three weeks since my last blog post, and what a three weeks it's been! Holy crap!!! Sometimes life just goes into overdrive and it's in those moments you realise you have no real control over anything, you just have to hang on as best you can and hope you don't go spinning off into oblivion and beyond.

I had my trip to the US, which I didn't really talk about. It was a mixed bag. The people were great. Lovely lovely people who I can't speak highly enough of. The weather, job prospects and animals, less so! I got stranded on day one, ignored by the film festival I've screened 4 times, won an award and met my wife at on day two, stood up for a planned meeting, having taken a bus out of town, on day three, oh, and bitten by a dog over breakfast that same day! So the week kind of went that way.

Over all, I don't know, I haven't really been able to process the week given then ensuing weeks, which I will talk about next. Let's just say I didn't run home saying, "We have to move to Indiana tomorrow!!!" No offense Indiana! There are some truly lovely people there. But Indianapolis, I don't know that I could do it for long. It's got a nice, if not somewhat quite, downtown, nice cultural centres, great museums. But I guess I just didn't vibe with the place. But we'll see. I admit I went during an ice storm in february! Might have been a completely different story if I'd gone mid-July!

So I get home and everyone's sick. My wife and daughter both have colds, high temperatures, aches and pains and just feeling rotten. This lasts for a full week. I get it for three days but it passes quickly. Meantime my daughter has to take an antibiotic, the first of her young life. My wife develops a respiratory infection and everyone just seems to be getting sicker and sicker.

Thankfully my daughter gets better, but my wife doesn't. She gets very sick. And two Wednesday's ago we end up in hospital. After a day of agony the doctors finally diagnose her with acute pancreatitis, a condition so rare in pregnant women that no one in the hospital has experience with it. After a great deal of consultation from various departments it's decided that the best course of action in the induce labour and deliver our baby early, 5 weeks early. We are completely unprepared for this. In fact, two night before my wife was worried that she would be sick for her labour and that the house wouldn't be ready, I laughingly said "Of course we will! It's five weeks away, you'll be better next week and we'll have loads of time..." we were in the hospital the next day. What is it they say about tempting fate!? Holy shit lads!

This happened on Wednesday, we get the decision on Thursday at 9 am, at 11am I have to be in the local Arts Centre to audition actors for the film I'm making with Ablevision TOMORROW. I've already blown a day off from sickness, so I feel like I can't blow this off. Auditioning actors and films are the furthest things from my mind at this moment. But I go down. See the actors. Make a decision and I'm back in the hospital in an hour and half.

My wife is induced on Friday morning. It goes off without a hitch. Best case scenario in a dreaded situation and our son is born on Friday afternoon. It's a happy occasion, the happiest, in the midst of a truly nightmarish week where everything we hoped would not happen, sickness in labour, induce labour, premature birth, happened, we're are overjoyed. But he's quickly taken off to special care, where he spends the next 9 days and meantime my wife is still recovering from the pancreatitis, as well as the birth now... oh and the respiratory infection which is still hanging around.

And again, I still have to think about the Ablevision first rehearsal on Thursday, while worrying for the entire week about getting my little man home. We get told on Wednesday night that we can take him home on the Thursday! Of course! Talk about timing. I go to the rehearsal. Goes well. I get out of there and on the steps of the building I get a call to say that actually he's not coming home today!

So we're back out in the unknown, and the shoot starts on Monday, tomorrow! And of course, par for the course, he arrives home today! Which is absolutely wonderful! I couldn't be happier! But I do kind of wish I didn't have to leave my wife alone with our 3 year-old and a new born the day after he arrives home from the hospital! I had planned to have the film shot and edited with 2 weeks to spare before he arrived! But you know what they say about making plans!

I'm not worried about the shoot at all. I think we're well prepared, we've spend a good while on the story and I have it visualised in my head. The schedule gives us plenty of time, so I'm looking forward to it. But the timing is just ridiculous! I'm looking forward to getting to the other side of it. I'm going to take a week off, relax, look after my family and then get down to editing. Phones off. Sign on the door reading: F&$@ OFF!!!

Meantime I'm looking into other projects. I Am Ireland is still a goer. Obviously I haven't had any time to push it. But I will. I'm thinking I might set up a booth locally so people can drop in off the street for a chat. I'm also looking at a couple of exciting projects for the summer, if I can find the time. There a short I'd like to do, a fan film I'd love to do and a feature that keeps popping into my head and nudging me in that direction! Like an old friend calling for a pint. It's tempting, but I know how the night's going to end! Plastered drunk and throwing up in a back alley on the way home! We'll see. I'll get this week over with a see how I feel. What's realistic!

I'm also looking at putting together an initiative to help local filmmakers. A community based filmmaker mentorship programme. Something to give young filmmakers in the town a bit of direction, advice and inspiration. So I've been talking to the local Arts Officer about that and there seems to be some interest. So I'll be working on that too over the next couple of weeks, putting it down on paper and then pushing it out. It's the kind of thing that could be rolled out anywhere.

So it's all go go go. Well, the ideas are! Life is getting in the way of the action part! But I'm sure it'll settle down... actually, I take that back, after the last four weeks I'm not sure of anything anymore! I'm hopeful, let's say!!!

I need to get back on Derelict too. I fear it's been set adrift and it feels somewhat dead in the water, I'm sorry to say. There just hasn't been any interest. Not from festival or distribution companies. Which is very disappointing and disheartening. I still think it's good and deserves the interest. But I just don't have the finances to push it! I'll have to find another way to get it out there. Otherwise it's just a waste of 3 years, €10,000 and the work of 20 good and talented people! Not to mention a crying bloody shame!!! If only there was some kind of national body set up to support filmmakers and help them get their films finished, marketed and seen... Oh well.

Alright. Better go check on my Son - My Son.

I AM IRELAND

I AM IRELAND is a new collaborative film project that will look at what it means to be Irish today. 

I want to make a simple documentary about the people of Ireland. One that captures the mood in the country and among the Irish people right now. It's not politically geared, I just want an honest film. It's about you, your family and your country.

So I'm asking Irish people, the country over, and indeed, the world over, to join the project. Where ever you may be, I want you to get involved. You don't have to do much, just record yourself answering 5 questions and send the footage to me. That's all. It'll take you 30 mins, tops!

If you would like to get involved, drop me a line, either comment below, or email me (find the Email me button on the right) I will send you the 5 questions. I will cut all the footage together into a film that will hopefully be an insightful, honest and personal piece about Ireland today. And as the Irish are natural storytellers I imagine it will be funny, sad and poignant too. 

I don't have a figure in mind for participants, maybe between 60 and 100 to keep it manageable, and ideally people representing every county, all 32. The deadline for delivery is June 30th. Anything delivered after that wont be put in. Sorry! I want to cut in July and August and have the film up by the end of the Summer. In the past I was too flexible on the deadline for 140, people were sending me stuff 6 months after the deadline, which delayed the project considerably. So I'm going to be strict this time.

The quality needs to be good. HD. I'm afraid dodgy mobile phone or internet camera footage wont do! DSLRs are fine. Sound needs to be clear as well though, bad sound wont make it in, so if you're shooting on a DSLR for example, you may need to record the sound separately. And it must be emailed to me (I'll send you a link to dropbox to dump the footage). I'm not going through the whole 140 digitising thing again!!! No sir!!! If you're not a filmmaker you may need some help from a filmmaker friend! But I will provide as much information as I can to help make it easy.

Let the camera run and think about your answers. I'm not worried about long pauses, or if your drift off on a tangent, or want to tell a particular story, or even stare blankly or get annoyed with yourself. Keep the camera running. I'll worry about editing it. Film yourself in what ever environment you want. But the camera should be steady or fixed, you should be seated, head and shoulders in frame and look into the camera.

When the film is complete it's going straight online. I'm not messing around with festivals. Can't afford it and just eats up too much time. I'm also not going to be looking for any money, I'm doing it for free. And I don't want it to cost anything. Hence the email thing. You film it, email it, I cut it and it goes online the same day as I'm finished for everyone to see. End of.

I think by the end of this we'll have an interesting and insightful look into the heart of our country - You.

So, You in?

US Premiere of Derelict!

Tomorrow night my film Derelict has it's US Premiere at the Chicago Irish Film Festival. I wish I could be there, but alas, I can't. I was in Indianapolis last week however, or the week before I should say, it's  a bit of a blur, everyone in my house has been sick with flu since I got home, so my welcome home has been a bit of a disaster! Anyway - I was able to stop of in Chicago on the way through and say hello to Jude Blackburn, who runs the event. A lovely lady indeed! We couldn't be in the better hands. I'm thrilled to be part of the festival!

I'd get into detail about my trip, but right now, I'm exhausted! It's late and I've had a hell of a week! I will mention before I go to bed however, that the work on 'Joe & Sarah' continues, the short I'm working on with Ablevision Ireland. As mentioned, I was sick last week, so missed the auditions, but managed to see taped footage. All very could! I have a tough decision to make. I'm also going to hold an open casting for local actor to play the other roles.

That'll be next week, this week I decide who's going to play the lead characters, then we rehearse and then we shoot. There be a film in the can in four weeks time. Looking forward to it.

OK, bed, sorry for the crap blog post! Especially to mark the US premiere of my first feature! But I need sleep Zzzzz zzzz z

Doing Things.

I'm working on a new script. It doesn't have a title yet. It's shooting in 7 weeks and has to be finished in about 9 weeks. It's probably the fastest turn around on a film I've ever done! As mentioned in the last update this is the short film project with the Ablevision Ireland Group. A fantastic group of people who share a passion for just Doing Things! Their a fearless bunch of people, who are open, friendly, interested and inspired.

Building a story for this one has been interesting, and a completely new way of writing for me. For the last two sessions I've mainly been sitting in and listening. I've talked a little, suggested a little, but mainly just listened very closely and picked up on the reoccurring themes within the discussions.

Week one Audrey, the group leader, went round the circle and asked basic questions like; 'What are likes?' 'What are your dislikes?' 'What are you pet hates?' - mine was Queue jumpers! - that kind of thing. The main one was 'What are your hopes?' What came out of that was largely a desire for Independence. These guys really want to be independent, to have their own place, freedom and responsibility. As someone said, "We're capable people."

We also asked about what kind of theme people would like to explore, what might make a good film, one of the group, Stephen, suggested Homelessness. So we talked about that for a while. Audrey asked the group why some people might become homeless. We touched on drug use, alcoholism, money problems. But we want to narrow it down and try to find a positive message, and something we could explore that was relevant to the group and their own situation and experience.

Then Ariana said 'Just to be difficult', that a person might leave home to be difficult, because they didn't want to do what their parents, or carers, told them. Someone else talked about leaving because someone was being too strict, or over protective. And there it was... From everything we talked about over the two sessions, and some key suggestions, a story appeared.

It's a story about a young couple who love each other but can't be together because one isn't being properly cared for and hates his home life and the other has an overprotective parent who wont let them be together. They just want to be together and find independence. So the run away.

None of this was my idea. Audrey guided the discussion. This themes appeared and I my job was to react to what everyone was saying, find the story within it all and then put some structure to it. And now to write the script of course, which I'm working on at the moment.

I need to have the script finished for next week. Then we start auditioning everyone for the parts. Then we have to find locations, of which there are several. All heading for an end of March shoot so I can get it edited in the first week of April, in lieu of the arrival of my second child in the second week in April and the deadline for the festival we're enter at the end of April.

I'm enjoying it, and going into a new film is always exciting and interesting, and of course - challenging! This one just has some new challenges for me. It certainly has me on my toes. I'm sure we'll be able to pull it off in time. It's a tall order. But there seems to be a good team there. Onward!

Pothole.

My last post was a little down, wasn't it? It came two weeks after my Drogheda screening of Derelict. Which is about right. After a high there's usually a slump. I guess that was it. Little bit of panic and self-pity. Still, not to take it back, it's a grumbling little monster that lives in the dark recesses of my mind, who comes up ever now and then for a moan.

I think part of my panic comes from not being able to just start a new project. Life is in full tilt at the moment, what with preparing for the new baby and immigrating later this year. I fly out to the states in two weeks for a week to start, hopefully, setting things up. I'll be meeting people, old friends and new contacts, shoring up the ground for the arrival of my family. I come home then for the birth of my second child. Something I looking forward to. And something I'm I have no concept of, yet.

I remember when we were expecting Evelyn people with kids would say "You have no idea how much it's going to change you, and your life," I thought, yeah, whatever, it wont change THAT much. How wrong was I?! It changed everything. Now number two is on the way, friends with two kids are saying the same, "You think one was tough?! Just wait for it..." So, I'm waiting!

I said to my wife last night, "You know, we'll wake up one morning, years from now, maybe when the kids are in college, and suddenly we'll feel awake, for the first time in 20 years, we'll be awake and then we'll realise we've been living in this semi-sleep state and perpetual tiredness for the past two decades..." I look forward to feeling awake again.

So, the film stuff, yes - I've been dying to make another film, as I'm sure you know by now. I had thought of doing a short, but organising that would be fiddly around this time. Then I thought of doing a short documentary, along the lines of Bill, For Short, a sequel of sorts! Still could happen. Then I got a bit over excited after talking to Patrick O'Donnell (actor) about my old script Ghoster. He liked the idea. I remembered I did too. So the next day I went back and read it. It was good, really good. The cogs started churning and whirring again.

So I started to look at putting together a feature film before I move. Pretty much shot down instantly by everyone I know. Always encouraging. Except for my unborn baby however! I put the idea to my wife and she said "OK, we'll ask the baby, ok baby, one kick for No and (just to make it difficult) three kicks for Yes," - my wonderful little child gave three kicks right away!!! There it was, can't argue with an unborn baby!

But I conceded. Feature films are complicated beasts of things. And this one would require a budget of at least €60,000, actually I estimate a conservative budget of €72,000, but I know I could pull it in under that. With trying to move and new baby, reality has won out on this one! But that's OK, I accept that, I'm not an idiot... most of the time! My main worry is that it wont be shot at all, or if it is, not in Ireland. I think it's a uniquely Irish story. At least, the characters are uniquely Irish. There are cultural elements there that I have doubts about translating to America, say.

But I might try and get it going over there. Perhaps set it in New York, Chicago or Boston. Make the characters Irish-American, maybe draft in a couple of actors from our fair green isle, just to keep a toe in the original idea. We shall see what happens. It'll be a while away anyway.

Funny how things work out though. All hope seemed lost that I would get to make another film before I left. Then I got a call from Ablevision Ireland to have a chat about doing a film with a group of disabled people. They asked me to come in as story advisor. But now it seems it might be more than that. They want to make a short film (3 to 5 minutes) by the end of April for entry into the Oskar Bright Film Festival. So they asked me to help them do it.

It's very exciting. I get to make a movie after all, but not the one I expected, and it wont be my movie, but that's OK. This is a completely different thing for me. I've never worked with disabled people before. I think it's going to be a challenge, but one I'm going to relish and I know, learn from. I'm looking forward to getting stuck in and it will be interesting to see the results. More details on that as I go.

Meantime, I'm writing away. Trying to get a new script completed for entry into this years Academy Nicholl Fellowship. Thinking about what's next. Every week I record a pitch video to crowdfund a new film, it varies from Ghoster, Nevermore to Float! But who knows, by the time I get to the states and spent some time there something might hit me completely out of the blue. I wanted to make a film before I left. I got my wish. Not what I expected. But I got it. So I'm a little more upbeat today! It's always exciting making a new movie!

Just because you've hit a pothole, doesn't mean the road has ended.

Bring Back the Bees

You ever feel like the internet is just pure noise. Of late I feel like I'm doing a daily 13 rounds with a young fit welterweight, and coming out with my head spinning. The only thing learned - stay out of the damn ring! The Bermuda triangle of procrastination - Gmail - Facebook - Twitter - has swallowed me up. I've lost hours. Days. Weeks even. I could have been abducted for all I know. Maybe the internet is a way for aliens to abduct us, play some facebook and twitter table tennis for an hour and they could do anything to us...

The last couple of weeks I've definitely been feeling drained. Maybe it's the internet, maybe it's other things. I'm not at my creative peak to say the least. I feel stalled. I'm itching to get another film started, but for the moment life has other, bigger, plans - like immigration and babies! Which is all good stuff. But I can't just stop being a filmmaker. I can't help wanting to make films. I've always been that way. I remember when I was a kid, I used to skateboard. I couldn't sit still for skateboarding. If there was a skateboard in the house, I had to be out and on it. If I was out with a skateboard in hand... well, it would never be in hand, it would be underfoot. Film is the same. I need it under foot.

But I do feel the need to prepare. More now than ever. Before, I would rush in.  Though honestly, had I the chance now, that's probably what I'd be doing. So the forced sabbatical is probably for the best. You see the two script I want to make are old scripts of mine, written five and six years ago. I think, I hope, I've learned a lot over the years, so they really should be rewritten. I need to take the time now to do that. But this down time is driving my round the twist! There's no distraction is what the problem is. I'm faced with the daily reality of my situation, that is, that I'm an unemployed, stay-at-home Dad.

Don't get me wrong, I cherish every moment spent with my daughter, and I know when things pick up, I'll miss the hell out of her and being able to spend everyday with her. But I do need to be working. At least, I need to be providing more than I am. I would love if that provision came from film. Film is really all I know how to do. I guess all I want to do. It is, has always has been, something of an obsession. And perhaps an unhealthy one. It's left me completely broke and given me a good excuse to remain in Brokeville for many years.

Next Tuesday I have to go to an interview for, what is basically, forced community service. A new scheme by the government to get people back to work. You get to keep your dole, but only if you work in an unpaid community service position. In one way it's fair. It's working for your money.  I can see that, and for someone who has a job and is paying their taxes I can see why they might say; "Damn right! Make the freeloaders work!"  On the other hand, I can't help but feel like it's another freedom being chipped away. Feels like the government is saying; "We pay you, we own you, you do what we tell you to do, whether you like it or not."  I don't like it. For one thing, it's not going to benefit me now. I'm immigrating soon. For another, it's not tapping into my skills and expertise, it's just planting my in some random job somewhere. It's old band-aid for a broken leg solution.

If only they could use me as a filmmaker. Let me make films, as I have been. I've mentioned the idea here before of community filmmaking: Films in the community, by the community, for the community. You set up a filmmaker to make the films he wants to make, with a few restrictions: 1. It has to be in the town. 2. It has to relate to the town somehow. 3. It has to employ some if not all the cast and crew from the town.  Then it's funded, made and shown here. On top of that, the same filmmaker can work with local groups, youth groups, disabled groups, school groups etc. and make films with them and about them. A constructive, creative, work programme for all. There is also community documentaries; let the filmmaker make a 10 minute doc about the local butcher who's been in business for 40 years, or doc about a local boxing club, or charity organisation and so on.

To me that seems like a better use of my time and ability than ending up as a caretaker in a community centre. And it benefits the community, gets people moving, involved, creating. Then, at the end of it, there is something that represents the town and it's people. Something good and positive up on the screen for them to see and be proud of. Something that's actually made a difference instead of just filling a space.

This country drives me nuts.  And when I say 'this country' I mean the bureaucrats that run it, or should that ruin it. They wont listen to creative thought, to reason, to what's staring them in the face. They just need a tick in a box. And to them, that's all we are, a tick in a box. We're not human. We're not people with hopes or dreams or aspirations. We're a tick in a box. There's no concept that I've been working, unpaid, for ten years, honing a craft, making a name for myself, building something worthwhile - no, I'm on a dole, I need to be placed placed somewhere... Where?  That's right - in a box.  If I stay in this country that's where I'll be for the rest of my life, imprisoned in four walls that are sealed be red tape, with a view of a ghost estate out a window that's been taxed.

Things are changing in the world right now. The weather is changing. Global power is shifting. Financially we're no longer circling the toilet bowl, we're flushed, in the pipes and heading for the sewage works. Meantime animals are going extinct. We're burning and eating at a rate we can't hope to sustain and we're killing the bees while we're at it. Ignoring the fact that we're killing ourselves by doing all this. I say all that because it's part of the noise in my head. I'm wondering if there's hope. If there's a point to it all.

Is there hope? I don't know. I think about my dreams as a kid. How simple they were, and perhaps, back then, attainable on some level, had the world stayed the same. But now those dreams can't ever exist because that world doesn't exist. I still want to be a filmmaker. I still want to make movies that people go to see and enjoy and talk about. But now, what kind of movies? And how do I make them?

I read a little piece today about Steven Soderbergh quiting film. He seemed quite disallusioned at how the film industry has turned out. How it's all about the money and the big budgets and that there's no room anymore for the smaller filmmaker, the filmmaker who makes good films, that may not pull in millions at the box office. That makes me sad. I remember a few years ago when Soderbergh and Clooney had their production company, Section Eight, and I thought, That's it! That's what I want to do! But it didn't last. Things changed and now Soderbergh is bowing out. Bitter.  It worries me. Worries me that I'm wasting my time right now.

But I have to believe there's hope. I have to believe there's a chance that I can make films, the films I want to make. That I can tell my stories that find an audience and connect with that audience. I have to believe that Soderbergh is wrong in someway. That there's an avenue I can take. Maybe it's not the one I saw when I was 9 years old. But there's something there. Via the indie route, the crowdfunded route... something?

I have to believe that the bees will find their way back and that the human race isn't stupid enough to just eat itself to extinction. I know it's worth believing. I just hope it's not a fool hope.

Derelict in Drogheda

Derelict Q&A after the screening at the Droichead Arts Centre (photo by Maryann Kelly)

Happy New Year!!! I'm a bit late with that, apologies! A busy beginning to the year, the blog suffered as a result. It was a nice start to the year with a screening of Derelict in my home town of Drogheda. We almost packed he place. Great turn out and a warm reception. Lot's of positive comments afterwards, of course, I think  people are probably too polite to come up to me and say they thought it was crap! But that's OK if they did! I think people appreciated it in general.

Me (photo by Maryann Kelly)

I introduced the film as a special event for me, first, it's ten years since I first screened in there, with a short film that never really should have been shown publicly. A ghost story called The Girl in the Window! It was more of an experiment, no script, some storyboard, and just an attempt to test some scary scene and see if they worked. They did, people jumped, but the film was terrible and made no sense narratively! Oh well. Hopefully the films have improved since then!

Secondly, it's probably my last screening in the Droichead Arts Centre and the last film I'll make in Drogheda, at least for a while, as I'm immigrating later this year. I think I've talked about it here before, so I wont go on about it. Needless to say it was a full circle moment to screen my first feature film, ten years after my first screening there and as my last screening there. A happy/sad moment indeed.

Patrick O'Donnell, Steve Gunn & Gerry Shanahan (photo by Maryann Kelly)

After the screening we had a Q&A session, expertly hosted by Sinead Brassil. I know Sinead as a producer at our local radio station LMFM, and she's started working for FeckTV as well. She interviewed me earlier in the week, so I thought she'd be a perfect choice, and she was. John Lawlor (DOP) actors Steve Gunn (Davey-boy) Patrick O'Donnell (Tone) and Gerry Shanahan (Daniel) all took part. It was fun! Then off to the pub for a few pints afterwards. A good night all round.

There are also two Videos on Vimeo:

Video 1

Video 2

My thanks for the Droichead Arts Centre, always a pleasure to screen there! Great team. To Sinead Brassil for hosting. John, Steve, Patrick and Gerry for taking part in the Q&A. And everyone for coming out, I know there were other option on the night, but it means a lot that you chose our film! Thanks.

Rear View.

Overall 2012 was a good year. Sure, it had it's disappointments, a lot of projects fell through, there were a lot of rejections and failures. But then, many other projects came to fruition and succeeded. Derelict was finally completed and premiered. Raise My Hands had a great festival run, appearing at many prestigious film festivals. I wrote my first novel. I got my green card and went to Boston for the first time. And my wife is expecting our second child. Not bad.

I learned a lot. I've always known it was important to persevere, but never more so in the hard times, when everything seems to be falling down around you. Trick is, keep a calm head. Step away for a while. Regroup. Come back fighting.

I'm reminded of a scene from The Hustler, excellent 1961 Robert Rossen movie starring Paul Newman and Jackie Gleason. It's an all night game, Newman, as the arrogant Eddie Felson, is winning. Gleason, as the champ Minnesota Fats, is taking a pounding. The game is coming to an end. If Felson know swhat was good for him he'd quit while he was ahead, but he doesn't. So it's time to teach him a lesson. Fats leaves the room for a moment. He throws water on his face. Gathers himself. Buttons up his shirt. Straightens his tie. Puts on his jacket. Returns to the game like it's a new day, and wipes the floor with the snot nosed kid.

Some times, you have to take a time out, refocus, dust off and get straightened out. I think writing the novel was that for me. Doing that taught me a couple of things. One, I don't need to be struggling to make films all the time. Two, I really love writing just to write. Though I always knew the second one, it was nice to have a reminder of how much I enjoy writing, and that those days in between projects don't have to be fruitless. I've got plenty of ideas waiting, and plenty of half written novels I could be finishing. Now that I've proved I can finish one I have no excuse.

I do want to make another film. I announced here earlier this year that The Wolf of Nevermore would be my next film. I've already started doing a little bit of research into the area where I'm moving, in terms of locations, to see if it would work. I think it might. But I have a lot of writing to do to get that script to where I want it to be. And then I will have to go down that dreaded crocked road to raise money to make it happen. But I want to get over there first. And I have a lot of work to do and money to save before that happens. So for the next six months I'm just thinking about getting there.

Whatever happens 2013 is certain to be a year of change. Hopefully by the end of it I'll be living in the states with my wife, daughter, and the newest member of our family. I would like to have a new film in some stage of production. Hopefully Derelict will be out in the world, stopping off at some festivals before finding a sweet distribution deal (one can dream!). But I'll be writing, where ever I find myself, I know that much. Maybe something will come of that. Who knows! A book on the shelves, wooden or digital, I don't mind! Wouldn't that be nice?!

Well, here's to all the good 2012 brought and to better things in 2013. I hope 2012 was good to you and 2013 is better. Very best. Stay safe.

Seed & Spark

140 is back. We had a short voyage back in 2010 when the film came out. But the wind died quickly and we were set adrift for long time. Occasionally calling into some far away harbour for a screening. But wonderful news, our days of drifting are over, we have found a port to call our own (don't know why the sailing metaphors?!)... our new home is Seed&Spark!

Seed&Spark is the brainchild of 140 filmmaker Emily Best. Emily had a very unique idea to house everything about independent filmmaking under one roof. Whereas most crowd-funding platforms solely concentrate on the fundraising side of the project, Seed&Spark looks at the entire life of the project, all the way to the end. It is also a distribution platform, streaming films to the audience you build when fundraising. I've written here before about the difficult and often overlooked side of indie filmmaking, getting your film into the world when all the money has run out. This answers that.

They have a cool idea behind the fundraising too, you put up a wish list, kind of like a wedding registry list, off all the things you need to make the film, and then people can select the items and pay for them, or if they own them, loan them to you for the duration of the production. I like that idea. It also lets people know exactly what they're paying for. It also touches on the Community aspect of Indie filmmaking, something I talked about last month.

I'm excited about this website. I hope it does really well for the guys because I think it could be something really positive, the next step in indie filmmaking. I'm proud to be one of the founding filmmakers and I'm looking forward to exploring the site and seeing how it grows over the next year.

In other news...

Derelict has had it's first review, over at CineIreland.

Some cool news for Derelict coming in the new year. Will have to wait until January to tell you. Meantime, the next screening is also in January, 12th, 8pm, Droichead Arts Centre, Drogheda. Please come.

I forgot to tell you that Emily's Song was broadcast on Channel 4 again, third time, that was a couple of months ago now. But great to know 6 years on that little film is still out there.

Raise My Hands is still touring film festivals. Next up is the prestigious Bahamas International Film Festival, this month. Wish I could go!

That's all for now. So head on over to Seed&Spark, have a mooch, and sure why not watch 140 while you're over there?! I might actually make some money for once... stranger things have happened at sea!

Total Words Written Today

I've been away, in my head, writing. I just finished the first draft of a novel called FLOAT. I signed up to NaNoWriMo this year as an incentive to write 50,000 words (that's 145 pages in old money) in one month. As it turned I wrote that in three weeks, not bad going! It is of course only the first draft, so more like 50,000 words of ideas and notes! But still, it's on paper. It's a start.

Mock-up Cover for FLOAT

I didn't really get into the whole NaNoWriMo thing, the community, the forums etc. I'm not big on clubs and clicks etc. Always preferred to do my own thing at my own pace. I really just availed of the online word counter! Which I could have done myself I suppose, but there was something different about it being live and online. An incentive I suppose. Which I guess is why the whole thing works.

I enjoyed the process, it was nice to write just to write and not to have to worry about trying to put it into production at the end of it. Philip Reeve once said to me "I much prefer writing - 5000 warriors appeared at the top of the hill, without having to worry about providing lunch for all of them!"

So often what I write is just the start. So this was certainly refreshing. It also showed me it could be done. And relatively quickly. I have three of four, maybe even five, half written novels on my computer right now. All of which I enjoyed writing and was very excited about at the time, still am. I think I just ran out of steam or moved onto other things.

I also found on this that it was right between the 20,000 and 30,000 word mark that I started to slow down. I started to feel like I was running out of ideas and steam and perhaps wouldn't finish it. But I muscled through. I got myself out of the corner and I ended up writing to the end very quickly. As it happens all the other books I've started are stuck between 20,000 and 30,000 words! A lesson? I think so.

So now I go back in. It came out as quite a short book. I had planned to go on, hit other points, but when I got past a certain point in the story, a lot of things came to a head and it felt natural to end it where I did, leaving a lot of things explained, but a lot unfinished and open. I guess that means there's going to be a sequel! But then again, I could go back in and find away to bring the lose ends in earlier so everything is tied up at the end. Though it's good to leave it somewhat open ended, let the characters live on somewhere.

It was a very enjoyable experienced. I've always said my favourite part of filmmaking is the writing, it always has been. I enjoy everything about it, the ideas, the storytelling, sitting down and letting it flow, being lost in my imagination and that feeling of being witness to something, like a war photographer, trying to capture a moment before it has passed.

I'll definately keep writing like this. It's something I've always wanted to do but have always been distracted, usually by writing... screenwriting! But I love the idea of the pure, uncompromised, story. Might be the way of the future!?

Of The People.

I have an idea. And it's kind of what I already do, I've just never thought of it this way before. Community Based Filmmaking. Films that are funded by the local community, about the local community, for the local community and by local talent.

What I've always done, is to hold fundrasiers in my hometown. They've always provided me with at least a quarter the budget of my films, sometimes more. And then I raise the rest elsewhere, online, personal loans etc. Then I go off and make the film I want to make, without restriction, without committee. I'm entirely independent. All my films have been based in my home town and are largely about my hometown. When they're done, I show them locally, to the people who partially funded them and they have always been well received. And they have screened here in Drogheda numerous times.

So why not have this be a regular thing, an acknowledged and practiced thing. That every few months a filmmaker is given money, donnated by the locals, based on an idea presented by the filmmaker, to go and make his film. It can be fiction, short, feature length, documentary, whatever he/she choses. It's about creative freedom too.

The filmmaker then uses his/her talent and resources to put the film together as they normally would, but perhaps using more local talent if they don't normally, local crew and cast. And they make an effort to shoot in the town, and about the town, and it's people.

It might sound a little restrictive, but I don't think it is. There are thousands of stories, interesting, inspiring, heartbreaking stories right outside your front door. They've been building up inside you all your life. Besides, so far I've made a drama, a comedy, a thriller, a documentary, a experimental arty piece... all outside my front door. So anything you're inspired to do is acceptable.

It's not about committees or focus groups or regulations deciding what you can and can't make. I cant be that. That would kill it stone dead. I'm just talking about being more focused in the community. In your town. And thinking about you film not just in globabl terms, in "Shaking the dust of this crumby town" as George Bailey once said, or getting to festivals etc. which of course you'll do, but it's about the films being for the people of you town. A more home grown approach to local cinema.

I guarantee these films will do well. If you're honest and hard working with them. Because if their routed in the town you know, about the people and places you know, they will relate in towns all over the world.

Just something to think about when you're starting out. Or looking for a new angle with your projects.

Addition: Money can also come from local businesses, or sponsorship in the form of food for crew etc. All for credit and press credit on websites etc.

The films are about the community, the town, the people, so in effect they promote the town and if the films travel they will do that on a global scale.

Less Is More.

The new and final poster for Derelict.

I Can't Enter That Film Festival, The Washing Machine Needs Replacing.

The reality of being an unemployed filmmaker is that when the washing machine breaks, you suddenly realise that having clean underwear is more important than screening at Sundance. At least, it takes greater precedence.

Film festivals are expensive to enter, and it's a gamble, and when you're as broke as we are, $50 is a lot to gamble. Plus there's no guarantee you'll get into that festival, even the one you think is perfect for your film.

It's difficult and frustrating, and I'm sure many filmmakers at my level will know that this is often the part of the process where we fall down. In an effort to just get the film made we don't think too far ahead, to our detriment, because when we do get to the the point, where we need to get the film out, we're ill prepared. Or, rather, we're simply broke and can't afford anything anymore.

Some people suggested I do another kickstarter campaign to help get the film out there. But I don't want to do that, people have already invested in it that way and I don't want to go back and ask again. I think it's down to me know to get it out, I feel like that's the promise I made when I asked them the first time. So now I have to live up to that. Besides... I'm saving up for a big one in the new year for Nevermore :p

So, a finished film, that's taken three years to make, sits in the dark without an audience, going unseen. Which again, is frustrating. The trick now is how to get it out into the world. Things are changing. There are so many other avenues to audiences. I'm looking at different ways to self-distribute. So while I will try to go down the festival route, I think I'll be looking for other means and method, one's that are perhaps less expensive!

And, who knows, once I buy a new washing machine maybe I'll have a few extra quid for a festival or two!

Next Up.

Well, I have finally decided on my next film. I've been going back and forth for the last few months. But it has landed. It is a horror story, well, more like a ghost story with fairy tale element, called...



I was hoping to buy the rights to a book I loved, and very nearly did, but it proved to costly in the end. I started to think about what else I might do, old ideas came back, new ideas appeared. I gave them all their due, but none really lit a fire in my belly.

In the meantime I was waiting to hear back from a couple of people on co-writing projects. I was like a dog in the traps waiting for the gate to spring open. But it never did, and I started to get antsy, agitated, impatient, frustrated. I started to do weird things. I deleted my facebook page. I considered going off-line altogether. Becoming a woodsman. Living off the land. Up a mountain. Beside a lake. The animals would be my friends. They would know as Sumbabo, the leader of the animals...

So I was going a little mad.

A couple things occurred to me during this time. One, I need to be working on something. I don't do well if I'm not working on something. Two, I need to concentrate on my own ideas and my own work, instead of going after other people's work, taking on other people's work or co-writing with other people.

That's not to be egotistical or arrogant, I do love working with other people, and I'm very inspired by other people's work. It's just that when it comes to that crucial stage, the inception, the beginning, it's such a precious time that if you don't fan that spark it's libel to go out.

There's so much to play for, so much to lose, so much time that passes. I've lost out on two big projects in the last two years by going after other people's work. I wish they had worked out, I do. But they didn't and it was a huge amount of time and energy wasted. I learned a hell of a lot by going through that process, but perhaps a lot more by having them fail.

I was emailing with the author of the most recent book, Philip Reeve, lovely lovely guy and I'm so glad I got to know him over the last year. While I think we'll stay in touch, the email was a full-stop on any chance of working together for now, unfortunately, and I do hope we can do something in the future. But in an email I started talking about one idea I had a few years ago, and as I was writing about it, there was a familiar spark. As I wrote, the spark began to glow and then broke into a flame and soon a fire was licking the walls of the hearth in my belly. And there is was, my next film, I knew at the end of that email what it would be - 'The Wolf of Nevermore'

If you've been following this blog for a long time you may recognise that title. It's a script I wrote over 5 years ago and an idea I've had for a lot longer. It was the next thing I wrote after Emily's Song. I had always wanted to do a ghost story. Something haunting, fairy-tale like, soaked in atmosphere, with a sense of dread. I found it difficult to write. I probably failed in the first few attempts.

It was widely rejected by everyone who read it, and even those who didn't. They just didn't like it. The Irish Film Board rejected it for First Draft support. I gave it to a producer who just didn't think it worked at all. I told my writing partner about it and he just scoffed, saying "Well that sounds depressing."

I knew they were all wrong, but I also knew I wasn't communicating what was in my head well enough, because I knew it could work. So I can't really blame them. But I can't listen to them either. Finally, I'm going to listen to my instincts, that have reminded me again and again, over the last 5 years, of how much I love this story and that have never let me forget the vision I had when I imagined it first.

I can't tell you very much about the story yet. But it is a horror, a ghost story with fairy-tale elements, especially in it's structure and characters. I want to create a haunting piece. I'll be concentrating a lot on the design and tone of it, more so than I have on anything else I've done to date. I'm going o give myself the time it needs to be done. It wont be rushed.

Chances are too it will be shot in America. If everything goes according to plan I'll be moving there next year. So I'm not going to get anything new start here. I'll use that time to write.

This is the very beginning. As Derelict reaches completion and is about to go out into the world I'm beginning a new journey all over again. One more. One bigger. 'The Wolf of Nevermore' begins it's life. A tiny flickering flame in a dark abyss. But enough to warm the hands that will build it.

The journey continues.

Heads or Tails?

I've been wracking my brain the last while trying to decide on what project to do next. I had decided on one, one I'm writing at the moment, but I'm not so sure. I have another, medieval piece, but it's probably too big for me right now... although, my idea is to keep it contained, no real reason I couldn't do it I suppose, if I really wanted to. If I put my mind to it, I think I probably could.

I think the difference between the two projects is that one if medieval and one is contemporary. So the medieval one requires a lot of art direction, weapons, stunts, would be a tough shoot because would mostly be exterior and would involve battles. It would also need to be shot in Ireland, so if I'm moving, it means coming back to shoot it, which is fine, but an added pressure.

The contemporary one requires work too as it has certain "magical" elements (for want of a better word) so needs stunts, wire work and will have CGI and compositing elements, although I can/will go back the The Element for all that work, so there's that. But most likely, I'll be living in the states and will shoot it there, as it's contemporary, and can really be shot anywhere.

Of course, I could just wait to move and see what happens when I land - - But I think I know what's going to happen. I'm going to have to go straight to work and earn money, so films will have to go on hold. So it would be nice to have something simmering away in the background while I'm doing that.

I'm leaning toward the contemporary piece. But I need to write it and find a strong ending. BUT - every time I think of the medieval one I think "Oh, swords and clobbering people! That'd be fun!"

Torn I am!

Another thing about the medieval one is that I know there are other versions in development already, so I'd be competing again bigger and better financed versions. I'm not too worried about that. I know my take is different. And I have just spent a year trying get the rights to a book which was based on a well known and well told legend, which has several version in development, but not only that, several version out right now! But again, it was different enough that I knew it could stand apart.

What would you do? Contemporary or Medieval?

Anyway, I'm just rambling here, I wasn't going to put this up but this is an example of what my brain is doing in between projects. Also, sorry to be so vague, I wish I could tell you exactly what the projects are but I have found in the past that when I talk in too much detail about stuff, very similar stuff appears a little later down the road by better funded people than me. Coincidence? Maybe, but I'm not taking the chance.

I think the key is just to do something. We only have one life. Time is ticking. I could be dead tomorrow... and all that stuff. And you can't worry about what other people are doing. If you do that, you'll get nothing done.

Perhaps I should just decide. Pick one. Then do the other after. Seeing as there is two maybe I should flip a coin... ok, here we go - Heads: Contemporary, Tails: Medieval...

TAILS!!! Medieval it is...

...best two out of three?

Fairly Mad

We humans are such fickle creatures, aren't we? Well, I am.

Let me tell you about the amazing things that are happening in my life at the moment, the feature I've been working on for 3 years in finally finished and premiered. Not only did it premiere but it was the Closing Night Event at the festival and received and Honourable Mention on the night. So there's that. My short film is screening this week at two film festivals in the States, the Bend Film Festival and the Harlem International Film Festival and has festivals coming up for the rest of this year and into next year. And this blog has been nominated for an Award in the National Blog Awards... so what do I have to be complaining about?!?!

Nothing is the answer to that question.

But for some reason I'm feeling slightly empty. Somewhat bereft. I just lost a project tonight, one I've been going after for a year. I almost had it earlier this year, then it fell through, then there was another chance, but there fell through too, then I thought I could kickstart it, but that fell through too... that was the last ditch effort of a desperate man. So I finally had to say goodbye and passed on it. I was really hoping I'd get the chance to do it, but maybe it wasn't my time, maybe I'm not ready yet.

So there's a painful day coming, the day I see that film on the big screen and my name's not on it. But I'll be glad to see it shine.

I think with the end of Derelict, and the project I was hoping to move onto not happening now, I feel  adrift. In a fog. I'm not sure where I'm going. I'm hoping to hit land. But I don't know if it's going to be today, tomorrow, next month or next year. Or it feels like waiting for a train in an empty station with no dot matrix, no Tannoy and no timetable. I've got no idea when the next train is coming and every minute feels like ten.

I shouldn't moan. I should enjoy the fact that I've nothing to do. While the things I've done are off doing things. But I would much rather be doing things too. Writing. Creating. Drawing. Casting... even, dare I say it, fundraising! Experiencing the thrill of a new project.

There are a couple of ideas, three in fact, none of them are fully developed, but they're ideas I like and would be happy to move onto. But things are in limbo at the moment too. You see I got me green card. So my wife and I are moving to the states in the next 6 to 8 months.

Maybe that's why I'm feeling a bit anxious. I feel like I can't start anything new, or if I do, I can't complete it here. I'll have to leave. Although I guess have-gun-will-travel. I can write and develop anywhere and if I absolutely have to shoot in Ireland I can always come back for a couple of months.

Though I do find that my environment tends to inform the films I make. I'm often inspired, or effected, by my physical surroundings. So maybe I'll get to the states and a new idea, something I never imagined, will land in my head, as has always happened, and that will be my next film.

So maybe I should hold off. Wait. Do nothing. See what comes.

I don't know though. I'm not happy unless I've got a project.

Anyway, I shouldn't write blogs this late at night. It's the mulling hour. I should either be lying in bed thinking about it, not sleeping, or jotting it down in a private journal. But as I've said in the past, it's all part of the journey.

I might announce a new film in the next week or so. It'll be another feature film and it'll be bigger than Derelict, I know that. How much bigger? I'm not sure yet. These three vary. Just comes down to how mad am I?

Fairly mad.